thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
