she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
