oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
