I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
