Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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