it was like eating out sand paper
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
