saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
