I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
