Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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