Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
