i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
