i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm just crazy horny about you
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
