she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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