it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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