Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
