Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
