U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
