I cockslap morals
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize