I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
