Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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