If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
