Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
