dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
