It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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