The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
