Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Enjoy the penises
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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