As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
