How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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