Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize