I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
