I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
