I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
