I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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