So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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