I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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