Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
This toilet bowl is my home.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
