You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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