i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
