...so i touched it.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
