im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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