Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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