i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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