super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize