I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
