I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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