Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
