No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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