Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
