oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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