Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He shit in the fireplace
soo... how was my night?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
