This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I got inside last night via doggy door
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I need a beard to bite.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
