I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
