I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
