I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
