Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
