coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
