You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
