Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
