If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
