so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
