discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
