After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
