Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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