Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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