We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
