The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
