Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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